From: bdunn@cco.caltech.edu (Brendan Dunn)<BR>
Message-ID: &lt;36c8j0$kpe@gap.cco.caltech.edu&gt;<BR>
Date: 28 Sep 1994 17:19:28 GMT<BR>
Subject: Subjunctive
<P>
<PRE>In article &lt;LP2aTc3w165w@gallif.ve6mgs.ampr.ab.ca&gt;,
Emperor Dalek &lt;xtermin8@gAlLiF.ersys.EDmonTON.Ab.Ca&gt; wrote:
&gt;If there's one thing I can't stand, it's stupid mistakes like that!!!
&gt;Wait -- make that "If there BE one thing..." (That was close! I almost
&gt;forgot to correctly apply the subjunctive mood -- I would have been the
&gt;laughing-stock of the whole forum!  Oh no--I just split my infinitive--
&gt;that should be "to apply correctly".  Another close call! And, no! I ought
&gt;to have said "I SHOULD have been..."; "would" for the second and third
&gt;persons, "should" for the first. Ooops! Did I mispell&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;HELP! SOMEBODY
&gt;STOP ME!!!!!!!!&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

This looks like a good place for a grammar lesson.  Now, the subjunctive
serves three primary functions: to express uncertainty, politeness, and
pirates.

Now, let's practice the subjunctive of the verb "to be".  Often in
English, the subjunctive carries an implied "that".  Even more often,
it carries an implied "ARRRRRRRRR!"

So repeat after me:

[that] I be {arrrrrrrrr!}
[that] you be {arrrrrrrrr!}
[that] it be {arrrrrrrrr!}

[that] we be {arrrrrrrrr!}
[that] ye [scurvy dogs] be {arrrrrrrrr!}
[that] they be {arrrrrrrrr!}

Thus endeth the lesson.  Arrrrrrrrr!

--Brendan, arrrrrrrrr!
</PRE>